GameTap TV

Learn more about the new iteration of GameTap, including its expanded video offering, in today's press release.

Fancy!

Best Flash game I've played in a while: The Fancy Pants Adventure. Gideon gets credit for the link.

Mount & Blade

No, it's not the name of a tavern. Mount & Blade is a pretty cool game that you can download here. The free version has a level cap, but buy the full version and you can upgrade your customizable character as much as you like. As the name implies, the game is a medieval sword 'n' horseback action game, but it seems pretty deep for a title that you can download in about 2 minutes right from the web. The character customization is especially deep, and it seems there is a multiplayer aspect. I haven't played much at all (just got past the tutorial), but I'm interested to see where it goes. I'm told that people who pick it up can't resisit the full version.

Thanks to Matt for bringing this game to my attention!

GDC 06

The Game Developers Conference in sunny San Jose was a real blast. Not only is the conference an excellent networking opportunity, but (unlike last year) I had a chance to attend many of the round table discussions and larger lectures with some true video game luminaries. Especially interesting was Richard Garriott, discussing the ups and downs of developing his latest MMO, Tabula Rasa.

The only downside to the GDC seems to be that it is simply impossible to see and do everything you might like, which is really a compliment. I met some awesome people (including a few hedgehogs) and did some pretty bad-ass karaoke at a place called 7 Bamboo in Japantown.

As for the "big news" that all gamers look for, well, there really wasn't much to go around. I have to say that Nintendo is doing some pretty impressive stuff these days: I played the new Super Mario on the DS Lite -- both the game and the upgraded handheld justify a purchase. They also announced a Zelda DS title and gave away copies of Brain Age after Iwata's keynote. Sure, I'm still pretty skeptical about the Revolution's "virtual console" -- and I really didn't appreciate a few of Iwata's comments -- but thanks for the cool game, Nintendo!

(And, yes, if you own a DS you should probably go get that one as well.)

The conference closed with a special performance of Video Games Live. Despite some pacing problems and a few questionable creative calls (Holocaust footage to the tune of Medal of Honor?!?), the show was totally cool. What a fun time!

Tetris Web

On a final note, the Tetris DS official site is worth a look!

Success

Well, I called Toys R Us before I left work, only to pleasantly discover that they had Tetris DS! Sadly, I didn't have enough time to get over there before dinner, so I just got home with a copy. Hurrah!

In addition, I returned Pokemon Trozei for Metroid Prime Hunters, a decision which actually prompted an agonizing inner debate. I finally determined that having two puzzle games (one of which is Tetris, for crying out loud!) was less preferable than having a puzzle game AND a super-duper action/adventure game. Also, the one review I've seen (at GamePro) was positive enough to make me opt for Samus. Sorry, Poliwhorl!

Failure

Toys R Us didn't have any copies of Tetris DS. They said to try calling later this afternoon. My consolation prize: I left instead with Tetris' gap-toothed younger sister, Pokemon Trozei. Listen, I need something new to play on the plane tomorrow when I head out to GDC.

In Conversation

This morning, going to work, in elevator:

Friend: Hey, a bunch of us are going to go to Best Buy at lunch to get Tetris DS. Wanna come?
Me: I would love to, but I'm going to Toys R Us to buy it. I have a gift certificate that I need to use.
Friend: We have Best Buy gift certificates!

Nerds!

Kart Attack

For the price of an actual car (about $23K), you can own a deluxe two-player Mario Kart arcade machine. I saw this in person for the first time at a Chuck E. Cheese yesterday afternoon. The machine is manufactured by Namco, and includes Pac-Man and at least one ghost as playable characters. Unfortunately, there were about 20 kids waiting to play the damn thing, so I couldn't try it out. I'm going to bust open my piggy bank when I get home tonight to see if I have enough to get one for myself. I don't have high hopes.

Frogger: Silver Ed.

The great game of Frogger celebrates its 25th anniversary this year, and it has the official site to prove it. George Costanza is psyched.

Oy Vey, This Is Funny

It's Jewish Girls Gone Wild!

Encore

The Internet reports that Guitar Hero 2 is on its way, with 40 new tracks to satisfy every rocker. There's also talk of "genre-specific" Guitar Hero titles, like a country version or a metal version. This all sounds totally awesome, if you like to believe everything the Internet tells you. And, of course, I do.

Eat 'Em and Smile

More Massively Multiplayer Online Brains will be available for eating! A game called Exanimus promises to "allow players to experience a MMO based in a horror genre by creating a dark and visually 'intense' environment." Nice, but why is "intense" in quotes, and what the hell does the title mean? Stay tuned, and polish your brain-beating stick.

An Open Letter to Jack Thompson

Columnist Matthew Sakey makes a compelling argument to be thankful for anti-game activist Jack Thompson's existence. Worth a read, and will be interesting to see if the man himself responds.

Simpsons Alive!

Check out the Simpsons opening, now in flesh-filled live action! On a side note, the YouTube site is pretty amazing; I think this whole Internet thing is going places.

Stand By for Adventure!

Adventure Gamers (a site I had not heard of previously, but quite nice) has posted a very evenhanded review of GameTap's current crop of adventure titles.

More Than a Handful

Looking for the perfect sports bra? Or just a quick titty fix? Well, they are both only one click away! Boobalicious!

Ultraviolence

Just when you thought Matrix ripoffs were through, here comes Ultraviolet. Man, it looks AWESOME.

Katamari Damashite

Gamedaily posted a Flash version of Katamari Damacy that you can play in your browser. And it sucks ass! What a shame...stick with your PS2.

Phantom Gives Up the Ghost

So much for the slow-motion train wreck known as the Phantom. Gamespot reports that development of the troubled device has offically been put "on hold".

Rumble Box

This is a great game, and best of all, it's free!

Trumptastic

If you like tycoon games, and you like New York City, then this might be of interest. It looks cool!

Funny How That Happens

So my iPod broke on its VERY LAST DAY of the initial one-year warranty. I brought it into the local Apple temple -- er -- store, and they gave me a brand new iPod!

Customer Service = A+. Too bad I lost all my playlists. Not to mention a bunch of music that I purged from my hard drive(s). Oh, well! I look at it this way: it's like an exciting new beginning with someone I already love.

Break Granted

For some reason, it makes me chuckle to think about anyone actively deciding to buy this.

HAVE FUN

Make your own candy heart! Click here. Oh, and definitely don't forget to click here!

Wicked Sweet

Oh, and while you're in the mood for nerdy tunes, please check out Keith Schofield's music videos. You won't be sorry!

Yangus Update!

The Dragon Quest Yangus official site has been updated. Guess who has new desktop wallpaper?

Y.M.C.K. R.O.C.K.

You want to check out some cool music for uncool gamers? They're Y.M.C.K. and they're from Japan. Where else would they be from? Pick up their album for ten bucks!

East/West

So everyone saw the "Chronicles of Narnia" rap from those SNL guys...well, here's a response from the left coast, and it's even funnier than the original!

No, Really. Is It?

Is this a joke?

Mazal Tov!

My new favorite cewebrity(TM) is Jessie the Bat Mitzvah girl. Check out her music video here. Her simcha is on my birthday!

Yeah, Right

No more booth babes at E3? That's what the ESA says, anyway.

More Spore

Everyone is excited about Will Wright's upcoming game Spore, and EA's official site is worth checking out.

Mmmm...MMOB

Massively Multiplayer Online Brains can be consumed when playing Urban Dead, a multiplayer browser-based online game!

Trapped in the Theater

If you're near Austin, TX, you may want to attend this!

Beat It

Remember that time that Michael Jackson beat up all your favorite characters from the NES? No? Well, this might refresh your memory.

(Is it a subtle commentary about the brief period of time that the SEGA Genesis dominated the console market, or just a crazy batshit fan film from Japan? You decide!)

Counterpoint

Curmudgeon Gamer responds to GameDaily's review of GameTap.

GameDaily on GameTap

GameDaily offers their take on GameTap.

Oy, Guv!

A sequel/prequel/sidestory to Dragon Quest VIII, tentatively titled Dragon Quest Yangus will follow the titular exploits of a young Yangus before he appeared in DQ VIII. Cor Blimey!

Long Time No Post

Man, December knocked me out. I was sick for like two weeks, and the holidays, and the so-on-and-so-on. But I did get out to see some movies and managed to play some games. Well, one game in particular: Dragon Quest VIII. Man, that game is just awesome. I've put 45+ hours into it and I think I'm only about halfway through. I'll have to write more when I have the time.

Here are the other things floating my proverbial boat:

- King Kong: Great movie, but too long. Why does everything have to be over three hours? Is that what makes something "epic"? No, it is often what makes something "padded".
- Munich: The rare "movie for grown-ups" that thrills, engages and makes one think. And it's not about some boring topic like an obscure gay poet in prison or whatever.
- Brokeback Mountain: Speaking of gay...this movie was a letdown. Great acting, but the story was a whole lot of nothing, in my opinion, and ended with a whimper.
- Smartbomb: A cool collection of spotlight articles about the various people and organizations that work behind-the-scenes of the videogame industry. Not very in-depth, but entertaining and well-written.
- Art Brut: My friends in New York (who are much cooler than I am) recommended this UK band to me. With lyrics like "I want to write the song that makes Israel and Palestine get along" you know that these guys are much cooler than you, too.
- Dragon Quest VIII: Didn't I already mention that this Japanese RPG ROOLZ? And that they are making a sequel/prequel? And Jessica's boobs defy gravity!
- The 4400: A sci-fi show on USA that has low production values and budget acting (Peter Coyote?) but great stories and an even better premise. Worth a look.

OK, bye!

What About Tony Stark?

According to Forbes, here are the 15 richest fictional characters:

1 Claus, Santa (∞)
2 Warbucks, Oliver "Daddy" ($27.3 billion)
3 Rich, Richie ($17 billion)
4 Luthor, Lex ($10.1 billion)
5 Burns, Charles Montgomery ($8.4 billion)
6 McDuck, Scrooge ($8.2 billion)
7 Clampett, Jed ($6.6 billion)
8 Wayne, Bruce ($6.5 billion)
9 Howell, Thurston III ($5.7 billion)
10 Wonka, Willy ($2.3 billion)
11 Bach, Arthur ($2 billion)
12 Scrooge, Ebenezer ($1.7 billion)
13 Croft, Lara ($1 billion)
14 De Vil, Cruella ($1 billion)
15 Malfoy, Lucius ($900 million)

Weird Reads

Check out Odd Books Online if you like Art Deco or are interested in a tome about chewing gum.

Weird Game

If you want a refreshing break from the same old games, try "Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space".

My boss brought this game to my attention, and when he showed it me I cannot say that I was too impressed. It took me weeks to load it up, and when I finally played it this afternoon, I was pleasantly surprised. Perhaps this was due to my lowered expectations, but after tinkering with the game for a while tonight, it's obvious that the game is a solid title in its own right.

Funny, but Weird Worlds contains many elements that I usually don't like: confusing space maps, lots of text, strategy-lite gameplay, resources to worry about. But here's the deal: the maps are not confusing (they just look confusing), the text is entertaining (and pretty clever), the strategy parts are fun (if a bit unbalanced) and the resource management is super simplified (no credits to worry about). The drag-and-drop interface is really intuitive and easy to use, and best of all, you can play a session in about a half hour and walk away satisfied.

The general idea is: you are a captain of a space vessel. You travel from planet to planet, gathering weapons and items, meeting strange alien races, upgrading your technology, enlisting new allies and blowing the crap out of hostiles. Every time you play, the map generates randomly, so there's a lot of replay value. Plus, it seems that your missions and goals change as you play, although I have not gotten far enough to determine what the pattern is.

Interestingly, the game is an independent release, so it probably gets no mention in the mainstream press and certainly no shelf space in the mass retail outlets. How a game like this survives is beyond me, but I guess word of mouth (like this post) helps. I hope some gamers read this and decide to give it a try. It would be nice to see more games like Weird Worlds break out of obscurity and carve out a little niche for themsleves amidst the landscape of sequels and big-budget titles. There's room for all kinds of cuisine in the gamer's daily diet.

You know, like giant space snails.

Slimes Have Appeared!

OK, so like I've never been into RPGs or anything. But I just finished playing the Dragon Quest VIII demo disc and, boy, was I impressed! Great! I've often said that "Dragon Warrior" (for the NES) was the last proper RPG I can remember playing, and that was a looong time ago. So it seems appropriate that Dragon Quest VIII (as the series has always been called in Japan) would be the game that would make me sit up and take notice. The reviews have been calling it "old school RPG gaming at its finest" and so on and so on. Whatever it is, it sure is fun!

The demo took almost two hours to complete, which was quite a meaty demo, as far as I'm concerned. The monsters are hilarious.

Note that the commercial version of Dragon Quest VIII also contains a playable demo of Final Fantasy XII, if you care about that sort of thing.

Choose Wisely

This is hilarious.

Absolutely Fantastic

A black tie event attended by Mike Tyson ended in an all-out brawl. Unbelievable! This guy could spark a fistfight in a kindergarten.

Strike a Phoon

Come on...you know you want to.

Far Cry from Great

I'm playing Far Cry Instincts for the Xbox right now. The game had a lot of great buzz when it was released for the PC, and got some good reviews. Here's my take: Far Cry is a curious combination of Awesome and Not Awesome, so ultimately it's a wash. Which is a disappointment, considering how great the game starts out.

You land on a lush tropical island (gorgeous graphics!) with no weapons and very little understanding of the environment around you. The levels are huge, which gives you lots of of options. You can crawl through the jungle if you want, which is very dense and gives you a great feeling of protection. But at the same time, you don't know where your enemies are and it's diffucult to see, so you also feel vulnerable. The first third of the game requires a lot of sneaking and careful progression to stay alive, which was totally fun. I had a great time with this and really felt like I was "immersed" in the role of the character.

Then you gain animal powers, and the game's vibe does a shift. Suddenly, you're a lot more powerful, so you can run into most situations with guns and claws blazing. The difficulty level takes a sharp dive, and actually, it's for the better. Because it's suddenly so much easier to take out your enemies, you really feel the power of your new abilities. I thought this was really cool and subtle, but whether it was intentional is questionable. Because as you gain more powers, the game fails to keep up and starts using some really cheap tactics.

By the end of the game, Far Cry Instincts is suddenly not much fun. The bad guys become supremely powerful and pick you off instantly if you're not careful. The environments become dark and murky, a cheap ploy to force you to use your "feral vision". Even the jungles, once lush and protective, become a nuisance. The level design gets sloppy and in the last few stages on the island it becomes very easy to get lost or run up against the edge of the world. Not to mention the introduction of the worst kind of enemy: suicide bombers. You know, the ones that make a beeline for you and explode. Arrgh. I know the game's balancing act is shoddy, because suddenly armor pickups and first aid kits are everywhere. It's like the game starts to expect you to fail. I'm at the final boss fight right now, and I don't even know if I have the stomach to complete it.

In the end, Far Cry serves up some amazing fire fights, some cool action sequences and really gorgeous graphics (for the most part). There's also some fun to be had with weapons and options for how you want to tackle the missions. (Take the jet ski and deal with floating mines, or swim underwater and sneak up on the baddies with your silenced pistol.) I hope it gets a sequel, and that they put a little more care into the enemies and game balance.

Arj and Poopy

A funny cartoon for you to try.

Hell Is Other People

So I went to see Doom last night, instead of playing in my usual low-stakes weekly poker tournament. I have to say, I was quite pleased with the film. (Then again, I didn't have very high expectations.) Surprisingly, the beginning of the movie was plodding, but once the action picked up there were a few nice setpieces. The art direction did the franchise justice, as there were a lot of details carefully lifted from the games. For instance, I really liked how all the security panels on the Mars outpost looked just like the ones in Doom 3.

If anything, I was disappointed that the "portal to Hell" aspect of the game was downplayed. No pentagrams or demonic voices or anything, which was a shame. As a result, zombie trope monotony begins to set in towards the end of the movie ("Ohmygod, that dead body was right there. Where did it go? LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!" etc.) instead of what should have been some serious hellspawn action. All told, not a bad movie, as far as videogame films go. The FPS sequence was pretty cool as well. But I still liked the first Resident Evil more.

Lord Henshingly Croft Would Be Proud

It's not too late! Cast your vote for this year's Walk of Game inductees here! And puh-leeze don't vote for EverQuest.

File Under: WTF

Seriously, there are no adjectives available to describe this.

Only in Japan

Here is a PS2 game from Japan in which you must shoot a giant bikini-clad woman in the boobies and the butt with rockets. Riiight. It's called "The Daibijin" -- which, loosely translated, means "I have some serious psycho-sexual issues that need to be addressed."

L@@K! Iron Maiden MIB! RARE!

Earlier this week, I went to a charity auction/dinner in San Francisco sponsored by the Entertainment Software Association. Called "Nite to Unite for Kids", this event is the gaming industry's biggest annual gala/fundraising effort. All the leading executives from the world's largest gaming companies attend. I saw the top dogs from Nintendo, Sony, Atari and so on. George Lucas received an award, which was presented by Hayden Christensen. As my friend Mark said, "It's nice to see the guy finally getting some recognition."

Anyway, what's really important is that there was a silent auction. Look what I won: a giant Iron Maiden action figure!


Fun note: I outbid Tim Schafer (Psychonauts, Day of the Tentacle, etc.) and took home the prize. Sorry, Tim!

Other items up for auction were a lot cooler (and more expensive) than a giant Eddie action figure. A PSP signed by Gwen Stefani, a Star Wars book signed by George Lucas and a Hello Kitty gift pack. Wow!

From the Times

Check out this piece in today's NY Times about GameTap's marketing campaign.

Blast from the Past

OMG: I haven't played Action Blast Land in years, but thanks to the magic of the web, now I can!

Download This!

Here are my photos from the big ol' GameTap-sponsored Download Festival '05 in San Francisco. Best moments of the day include:

- A teenage kid digging on Freeway
- Performance by the Lovemakers (imagine the Human League, sans shirts)
- The Gamer With No Name who came in and quietly beat Gunstar Heroes without uttering a word
- Two boys that appeared to be about ten years old in line for free condoms
- My friend Greg kicking ass at Pac-Man
- The Dome, man! The Dome!

Seriously, GameTap spent a lot of money and effort on what we have been cheerfully calling "the igloo" -- a giant Dome with numerous game stations and a huge 3D projection of the GT interface on the ceiling. Plus, tons of gameplay footage, screenshots and mind-boggling animations. Can you get into a 3D version of the Air-Sea Battle plane zooming 360-degrees around your skull? I can! The pictures I took, which are grainy and blurry, don't really do the Dome justice...but the light levels were really low inside and you could probably only get quality footage with a professional camera.

Too bad that the Doves, a band I really like, were not received with much enthusaism from the crowd. Hence, British crankiness ensued.

All in all, a successful and -- most importantly -- fun event!

Vampires Still Suck

What a disappointment! Darkwatch is a yucky game. Damn. I really, really, really wanted it to be awesome. It's not a bad game per se, but frustrating on so many levels:

- Mindless, endless enemies
- Crappy hit detection
- Boring level design
- Stupid good/evil system
- Dumb plot

The list goes on. Vampire powers are under-utilized. Weapon variety (and innovation)is lacking. The horseback levels, which are total filler, occur in these bizarre, barren environments where train tracks run back and forth between nothingness.

That said, there's a lot of great stuff about Darkwatch, most of which could be salvaged for a sequel. The character designs and atmosphere are both awesome, and the biggest selling points of the game, in my opinion. Screenshots really look great. The game is fast and smooth. The melee system rocks. Knocking a skeleton's head off with the butt of your gun delivers a satisfying crunch. But the game becomes brainless and aimless about four or five hours in. I don't mind a speedfreak shooting gallery, but it gets really frustrating when your bullets seem to be ineffective.

Anyway, I sent it back to GameFly before I even got to the much-ballyhooed sex scene. Far Cry is on its way instead, and I hope it's better!

Malevolent Anthropologist-Torturing Terror

The folks who brought you the brilliant Cyborg Name Decoder have now added a Monster Name Decoder. Check them both at namedecoder.com.

I Can Get Behind This

I never much cared for the White Stripes. I mean, I can appreciate their undeniable cool factor, but I heard White Blood Cells and thought it was just OK. Now, this is back around the time when the "garage rock revolution" was happening, and I'm a guy that likes the Mono Men and all that Estrus junk. So maybe I was just a little skeptical, all right?

(Yeah, but I bought that Strokes CD and I liked it. What can I say?)

So, like, a couple months ago I heard "Blue Orchid" on the the radio and I was like, "Damn, that sounds good." And then I bought the new Audioslave album. But I was in Full Moon Records the other day -- best Atlanta record store and you totally need to check them out -- and they had a copy of Get Behind Me Satan. Since every CD at Full Moon Records is 8 bucks, what did I have to lose?

Well, 'tis not the matter of what I was to lose, but what I was to gain.

Turns out, Get Behind Me Satan is brilliant. I was listening to it in bed the other night and I was thinking, "Is this what White Blood Cells was like? I don't think so!" White Blood Cells was scuzzy and a bit precious, as I recall. Get Behind Me Satan is that as well, but also offbeat and bizarre and sketchbooky and tight all at the same time. And it's got mojo -- you know, that thing Jim Morrison was always after.

Then I went online and read some reviews and it seems that a lot of White Stripes fans were disappointed with Get Behind Me Satan because it was weird, slow and/or just plain bad. Now, I definitely have a contrarian tendency when it comes to music, i.e., that which is deemed "brilliant" is often crapola in my book, and vice-versa. (See my copy of Spit, the Godfather of Smut.)

But waitaminnit, I played the album in the car on the way to work this morning (I didn't necessarily trust my previous nocturnal viewpoint) and it was still great listening, definitely. Blue Orchid, The Nurse, My Doorbell...no, this really is brilliant! I'm completely taken by surprise again. Get Behind Me Satan has a patchwork quality to it, like when you're standing at the bar and you can hear the jukebox...but also the band in the next room and the conversation beside you. Sometimes it sounds like a mish-mash of noise, but other times it all blends together perfectly. That's how I've described the Flaming Lips, and that's how I'd descrie Get Behind Me Satan.

Yeah, it really is cool!

Gee, 4!

So the CEO of G4 vacated his post, "passing the baton" to a marketing guy. This was just a few weeks ago. And it makes sense; the G4 network is struggling and they definitely have to try something/anything to get a rating. There was an old issue of Television Week floating around the office (August 22), which reports that G4 is "shifting its focus" from game-centric programming to lifestyle stuff -- all in an attempt to grab some of the guys tuning in to Adult Swim. Which might explain the somewhat baffling inclusion of a Happy Tree Friends-anchored animated anthology show.

But dare I say it? Smart. Too little too late? Maybe. They should have implemented this kind of programming strategy after they gobbled up TechTV. G4 has been losing viewership (if you can call it that) left and right, and now nobody's watching -- not the shows, not this "shift" in their approach. When you're only in 50+ million homes, you can't screw around.

Anyway, it's an interesting thing to watch. Personally, I'd like to see a games/gadgets/girls channel succeed. But as much as I adore Happy Tree Friends, I don't know if a decapitated bunny is the answer G4 is looking for.

Like Queen...But Good

Check out One Way Ticket, the new single from the Darkness, (exclusively!) on MySpace (?!?). I wish it was more balls-out, but it rocks pretty hard and indicates that the new album will be more of the same big guitar goodness we've come to expect from those crazy Brits.

Zaxxon Roxxorz

A nice take on GameTap can be found here. Can someone tell me what an "O'Reilly Developer Weblog" is?

We Are GO for Launch

The official GameTap website is now up and running with launch content. Check it out and sign up today!

Riggity-Rock

Sweet. The Darkness are coming out with a new album at the end of November. Rawk.

Smiling in Defeat

Even though we didn't win at the Emmys, we had a pretty good time. Check out the pics I took here.

An Honor Just to Be Nominated

Well, the Cartoon Network team behind Operation: B.E.S.T. did not win their technical and engineering Emmy Award. These guys won. Still, it was an interesting event. The men who invented videotape received a lifetime achievement award, and I received a pair of binoculars and a bunch of other schwag. Stay tuned for photos.

Come See, Come Saw

Rocket From the Crypt, the most rockingest band of all time, is playing a farewell show on Halloween. Say it ain't so, Speedo!

Open Letter to EW

Dear Entertainment Weekly:

I have been a subscriber to your magazine for approximately 15 years, and I am a hair's breadth away from letting my subscription lapse. The reason? In my estimation, simply put, your magazine has suffered an unforgivable degradation of editorial quality over the last several years. While Entertainment Weekly is still the best mainstream mag for consumers of mass entertainment, a destructive combination of snark and bile seems to have infected your pages, leaving me mystified and angry when I put down your magazine. And believe me, the speed at which I put it down increases with each passing week.

The prime offenders:
- Self-congratulatory sections such as Rant of the Week, Ask the Critic and What to Watch
- Non-substantive photo captions that only exist to deliver a (generally weak) gag
- Interviews that turn their subjects into a joke, i.e., Stupid Questions
- Indulgent celebrity columns (Stephen King, I love you, but you need to go away)

Each of these elements is relatively harmless independently, but when evaluated together I cannot help but notice the poisonous effect that they have on your magazine. Yes, the requisite cover stories about musician/starlet/TV show du jour are fine, but it is the more insightful pieces (such as your recent profiles of Ray Harryhausen, Mitch Hedberg and this week's standout article about Bob Dylan) that have always allowed Entertainment Weekly to stand out amongst the crowd of entertainment fluff rags. I find that stories such as these are fewer and far between these days.

I hope you will take this criticism to heart -- understanding that I am not the only longtime reader who feels this way -- and also take a hard look at the direction in which your magazine is currently headed. I still believe that Entertainment Weekly is for people who are serious about entertainment. I only wish your editorial braintrust felt the same way.

Most Sincerely,

Poo-Natics

So that awful Loonatics show finally premiered, to the sounds of Mel Blanc and Chuck Jones rolling over in their graves.

Where Does He Get Those Wonderful Toys?

With my wife's blessing, I have a new display at home for my Kubrick figure collection. Check it:


It's not just Kubricks, of course, although Kubricks are my favorite. I'm pretty selective when it comes to which ones I get, and I never get crazy about completing a set (expensive and/or next to impossible). Top Row: some classic Famicom magnet scenes, a couple of Peter Bagge's "Alien Family" figures, the Happy Tree Friends PVC set and some Glico Kubricks (my first!) that came packaged with cookies. Middle Row: Marvel and DC Kubricks (my favorites!), plus a weird bear that a friend brought me from London. Bottom Row: a Japanese baby toy from Bandai, Makibishi Kubricks (Death and ninja cat), Kinnikuman (MUSCLE) Kubricks, Zelda "Four Swords" capsule toys, a couple of the first Evirob Kubricks (which I thought I would like, but I don't), two Smurf Kubricks and some Glico Ultraman figs. Sah-weet!

Intruder Alert!

When I learned how to create my own stained glass this summer, I realized that old school game graphics lent themselves perfectly to the medium.



Look closely and you'll see the humanoid hero from the Atari 2600 port of Berzerk. Viva la geekdom!

The Singing Dictionary

Recently it was brought to my attention that my favorite online dictionary, from Merriam-Webster, provides an audio pronounciation for all the words in the English language. Imagine the voice record sessions for that!

Well, now you can hear the hilarious vocal stylings of Merriam Webster on the "Dictionaraoke" website. OMG "Iron Man" is fantastic. Rock!

Music to Geek Out By

If you haven't already, you really need to pick up the EP from the coolest nerds on the block: 8 Bit Weapon.

Survey Says

Industry insiders weigh in on the Revolution controller. Interesting stuff.

Mario Manga

Some really funny -- and totally bizarre -- manga images featuring Nintendo characters can be found on this Japanese language site.

Revolution Number...WTF?

So, Nintendo revealed their mysterious Revolution controller (above) at this week's Tokyo Game Show. As has become standard by now with Nintendo revelations of this nature, the first reaction is often, "What the hell?" which is quickly followed by, "Nintendo has oatmeal between its ears" and quickly punctuated with the hopeful, "Well, maybe it's genius" and finally culminating in, "Sigh. Poor, stupid Nintendo does it again."

Mind you, I'm about as Nintendo fanboyish as they come. But with each piece of hardware the company puts out, they seem to alienate more and more of their core fanbase. I'm going to buy the Revolution anyway, but does Nintendo REALLY think that the average (translation: mainstream) gamer is really going to have the guts to get within 10 feet of that controller? When the Xbox 360 is so much more accessible? And the PS3 so much more (undoubtedly) versatile?

Not to mention this whole "ultimate backwards compatibility" issue, which clearly won't be free and is really just sad, in my opinion. Nintendo, who hasn't had a good original franchise since Pokemon (sorry, Pikimin) and relies way too much on its back catalog, is using it's ENTIRE DUSTY LIBRARY as a selling point for this new console. It's a value-add, and a great one at that, but not the main reason to buy the thing. People want new games, not old ones.

God, Nintendo is so frustrating.

Obviously, the company is still making money. It has successful games on the market (Nintendogs, Pokemon, RE4) and has a few amazing titles on the way (Zelda, at least). Nintendo makes the best and most polished first-party games in the business. I will never hate Nintendo. I just hope I can like them again.

What The--?!

If you haven't already, you should totally get goatz! (It's extreme.)

Buzz, Buzz

Some nice mentions of GameTap here and here.

Me No Like Bugs

So I found one of these crawling in my yard not too long ago. It's a Hickory Horned Devil, and it's a very large -- and totally harmless -- caterpillar. But since I have a "bug thing" it really gave me a start. I did a little nosing around on the web and discovered that it is a common sight to see one of these down south in August and September. Special thanks to What's That Bug? for their assistance in identifying this bizarro creature.

Too Bad It's Not Linkin Park

Great variation on the "hit the thing as far as possible" genre: see how far you can dropkick the Faint. Yes, that's right: hit the members of the band as far as you can.

Actually, I think this game belongs in the "inexplicable" genre.

Truth in Advertising

Jesus, pop-up ads sure are getting depressing!

3.14

I just finished reading "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. It's a fascinating novel, really well-written, thought-provoking, problematic and totally engrossing. The ending was particularly controversial in my house.

The high-concept pitch is: a young boy survives a shipwreck and winds up in a lifeboat with an adult Bengal tiger. While there is a "man vs. nature" survival aspect to the book, it's also a meditation on religion, God, zoos, storytelling and family. There are surprising laugh-out-loud moments, too. I found the author's writing style to be very similar to Kurt Vonnegut's, a favorite of mine.

Anyway, it's not a perfect book but certainly an enjoyable one and extremely well done. It will provoke many a conversation with other readers of the book, indicated by the numerous Life of Pi "book club guides" available on the web.

Side note: The story is pretty much unfilmmable as a live-action movie. That said, I think it could make an excellent animated film in the right hands. I cannot stop thinking about what it would be like to see what Hayao Miyazaki would do with the source material. All the Miyazaki elements are there: child protagonist, ocean, the animal kingdom, nature, surreal settings, the bizarre combination of "benevolent malevolence" that you see in all his work. I want to see this movie! How can I get him to read the book???

Worst Headline Ev@r!

Just when you think Nintendo is going to get sidelined (again), they pull a fastball like this out of their hip pocket. Nintendogs looks likely to be a big hit, with 15% of DS owners picking it up in the first week of release. OK, so that means about 90 people bought it? ZING!

Suburb Thugs Unite

My sister auditioned for Freestyle 59, which is an "American Idol" style show on VH1 for rappers. (You have to send in a 59-second rap on a video.) Anyway, she didn't make the cut, but they posted her tape in the "Suburb Thuggin" category. Scroll down and feel MC Flow's flow...

Hulk (Is A) Smash!

OK, so: like, did you ever want to play a game in which you could run around and destroy buildings, then blow up a bus and smash someone with it and then like, run really fast and jump into the air and fling the bus at a helicopter so that the helicopter explodes, and then use the flaming wreckage of the helicopter to blow up another car, which you can use as like, brass knuckles to lay waste to a gas station? Oh, and flatten some cops with a tank?

Then, boy, do I have the game for you!!!

Mari-Oh My

Wow, you can watch the Super Mario Brothers Super Show online at Yahooligans! (You can also find the Legend of Zelda cartoon, if you have the courage. And a mirror shield.)

Both cartoons were produced by DIC, which in the animation community stands for "Do It Cheap".

The Terrible Secret of Space

Do you know the Terrible Secret of Space? The terrible secret is that the Pusher Robot is an asshole and the Shover Robot can't drive.

Mega Mania

This is funny.

Props Received > Props Given

A big shout-out to the folks at Netjak for their positively humbling review of the "50 Worst" piece. I am not familiar with Netjak, but I'm psyched that they enjoyed the article so much! I will be visitng their site in the future. Thanks, guys!

Ninten-D'oh!

Nintendo has cut the price of its handheld DS console from $149 to $129.

I bought a DS last week. Of course.

Why did I buy a DS, you ask? One word: Electroplankton. This game -- if you can even call it that -- features microscopic muscical critters making Nintendo sound collages. I saw it at GDC, and my nerdar definitely went off. After seeing more of the game and reading a few reviews, I decided that Electroplankton was the killer DS app that I had been waiting for! It's a Japan-only release for now, so I bought the import. Good thing the DS is not region protected!

I also got Jump Super Stars, a "Super Smash Bros." style fighting game with manga characters. There's dozens of properties in the game, many of which I've never heard of! It looks totally fun. And unlike Electroplankton, Jump Super Stars will almost certainly never get a release in the US. In fact, I'm skeptical that Electroplankton will ever come out stateside, which is why I snatched up the import.

I am currently staring at my mailbox, waiting for the games to arrive. Buy your imports from Play Asia!

Zelda Delayed

Someone play a sad song on their ocarina...the new Legend of Zelda game has been delayed until 2006.

Wear a Patch

So Rockstar has released a patch for the PC version of San Andreas that prevents you from using the Hot Coffee patch. OK...wow. Here is what I want to happen: 1) Hackers immediately respond with a patch that prevents the "No More Hot Coffee" patch from working. 2) Rockstar responds with another patch to prevent this patch from working. 3) Process continues ad infinitum.

Meanwhile, Rockstar releases "Hot Coffee" as a separate game for $4.99 and instantly makes a gabillion dollars.

What, Me Nerdy?

Check out my writerly contributions to MAD's current cover story, entitled "The 50 Worst Things About Video Games".

I am so psyched to finally join the Usual Gang of Idiots. A childhood dream come true!

Visit Stackopolis

Here is a cool game to try!

1 and a 2 and a 3

Darkwatch surfaces in stores next week, hopefully the first entry in an awesome new shooter franchise. I've been very excited about this game, as it stars a vampire cowboy who shoots zombies. When I played the game at E3, I found the controls quite clunky, but from what I've read the game has really shaped up. Even though my E3 experience was disappointing, I was psyched about the melee options for the weapons. For instance, your default handguns have blades on the handles, which you can use to slash your enemies when they come in close. The game has a cool premise, a great sense of style, and boobies. I just hope the sequel has pirates in it. Ninja pirates.

Speaking of sequels, I finally finished Halo 2's single-player campaign. (OK, I know I'm way on the outside scoop.) All I can say is, WHAT THE HEY NOW--?! The "ending" isn't an ending at all; it's like the tape in the camera ran out. But that's not the biggest disappointment of the game, IMHO. What really sucks is that you only get to play as Master Chief for half the game. And when you do get to play as Master Chief, you're usually handling the sucky Covenant weapons. And when you play as the Arbiter, you generally use Earth weapons. I found this feature very annoying. Granted, the game has incredible polish, solid control and fantastic visuals. But by the end I found the combat and levels very repetitive, the weapons samey and the story incomprehensible. Not to mention the fact that you only get occasional use of explosive weaponry, which are my favorites! The action setpieces and scenarios were occasionally edge-of-your-seat fun, but overall I was very glad for the game to be over when it "ended". I guess it really is just for multiplayer, after all.

Now on to Midnight Club 3, an awesome racing game that I just tried out for the first time last night. (Thank you, GameFly, for taking a month to send me the damn thing in the mail.) Fun! I love racing games, but I'm not much for tuner fetishism. That said, tooling around with the details of your cars is surprisingly fun. The gameplay is a great mix of arcadey realism, which is just my style. The soundtrack rocks and you get to race in Atlanta! The difficulty feels just about right, too. I haven't had much interest in "street racing" games before, but now I'm hooked, esse!

Culture Clash

Matt Sakey muses about GameTap and game preservation in his Culture Clash column on the IGDA website.

Game Over

Man dies from playing videogames for two days straight. News story here. Those wacky Koreans!

Gamespot on GameTap

Gamespot posted this article on Monday, covering the GameTap launch date and pricing.

"Must Hate Quality"

Well, I'm back from vacation -- saw "Must Love Dogs" with John Cusack and Diane Lane. (Actually, I saw it with my wife and her dad, but you get the idea.) Utter garbage!