My Oh Mayan!

In other news, Mel Gibson attempts to corner the "movies in a dead language" market by filming his new project, Apocalypto, in a Mayan dialect. (I'm still waiting for Lethal Weapon 4 to be re-released in Orcish.)

On a side note, doesn't "Apocalypto" sound like the name of a He-Man villain?

Thanks, Grandma

Some old lady sued Rockstar over the GTA sex scandal. Give me a break. News item here.

Doomed?

Just watched the Doom trailer. Looks like it's going to be a b-grade schlockfest. I can't wait!!!

Rapper in the Family

Well, hot damn. My sister is a rapper!

Nintendo Pics

I finally posted my pictures of the Nintendo World Store from my most recent trip to NYC. The day I went to check out the store, the heavens opened up with a terrible rainstorm and I got totally drenched. Was it worth it? Well, I bought a T-Shirt.

My basic impression was: the store was cool, but probably not worth the enormous sum Nintendo is likely spending on the Rockefeller Center real estate. Aside from the cool egg-shaped game stations, there was very little to get excited about.

I <3 I <3 Huckabees

We just watched I <3 Huckabees and I thought it was brilliant! My father-in-law saw it in the theater and thought it was "the worst movie ever." I am glad I did not take his word for it, even though I trust his taste in movies.

The Dull Knight Returns

So I read Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder #1, the first installment in DC's new "All Star" line. The comic is drawn by Jim Lee, who did a great job with Batman in Hush, and Frank Miller, of recent Sin City fame.

In my opinion, Frank Miller is good, but criminally overrated. After reading this "All Star" Batman comic, however, I think he might be terrible. This was a truly BAD comic book. New take on Batman? Not sure, but he appears to be an asshole. New take on Robin? We're not given any cause to care that his parents are killed for no apparent reason right in front of him. (And who comes from a family of acrobats? Are his cousins pirates?) Vicki Vale? Stereotype. Villain? MIA. But don't worry, there's plenty of cliche dialogue to go around.

Bad, bad, bad. Thrown together bad. How many times will we have to suffer through Batman's origin, anyway? Batman Begins was really good...don't push your luck. If this is supposed to compete with Marvel's superb line of Ultimates books, the House of M has nothing to worry about.

Battle of Stupid Band Names

I propose a fight between Japanese metalheads Sex Machine Guns and Aussie weirdos Machine Gun Fellatio.

Sex Machine Guns, by the way, have a song about oranges that is supposedly awesome.

Grand Theft Porno

This is what they're making the big deal about? A) There's quite a few more appalling things that occur in San Andreas. B) The video in question was only accessible with a hack. C) It's a game for GROWN-UPS. But as always, people can blow the shit out of each other all over the TV, but stick one penis in a vagina...and look out!

The most appalling thing of all is that CJ never takes his pants off! Talk about doing it "G Style"!

Poppin' & Lockin'

Watch this. Wow!

DirecTV Will Kick My Ass

Here is the press release regarding the Technical Emmy nominations.

What's in a Name?

I just got a copy of Guild Wars, the MMORPG for people who don't like MMORPGs. It will be interesting to see what it's like. More on that later.

My character is a warrior named Rystan Ragar. If you catch the references, you are a dork!

Name generation doesn't come so easy to everyone. And that's why there's a fantasy character name generator on teh internetz.

My Office Could Beat Up Your Office

Well, my office (which I share with fellow writer, Richard) is finally getting into shape! We've inherited a lovely console wall and a nifty flatscreen TV, both handed down to me by my supervisor, who recently had to relocate to a new building.

The console wall includes the following systems: Atari 2600, Intellivision, Colecovision, Master System, Genesis (w/SEGA CD), Saturn, Dreamcast, 3DO, NES, SNES, N64, XBox, PSX, PS2 and GameCube. We also have an assortment of "plug and play" controllers of both the authentic and bootleg variety. Mind you, not all of these systems are hooked up. We're getting to that.

We also now have the room for a fine display of my toys, from Viewtiful Joe bobbleheads to imported Nintendo magnet scenes from Japan. These are the important things in life, let's face it.

Here is my desk, where the magic of "content creation" happens. For the record, "content creation" also happens in the Men's Room down the hall, so let's not get too excited. Note the awesome E.T. mobile from eBay and the fine Space Invaders wall decals.

(You can purchase those cool decals from Blik.)

I won't lie: nice work if you can get it, kids!

The Most Beautiful Machine

No, it's not the iPod...it's this. Press the history eraser button!

Gamefried

Gamefly, an online service similar to Netflix but for videogames, is great in theory. However, I think their only warehouse is on the west coast...or possibly on the moon. I've been waiting for "Midnight Club 3" for almost a month. It never showed up the first time, so I had to report a delivery problem. And so I wait...and wait. This is not the first time this has happened to me. Their used prices, on the other hand, are awesome. And you always get a pristine box and manual, so it's like buying new!

Shark Tool

In case you care about computer-animated features starring fish: Finding Nemo is great. Shark Tale, which I just rented from Netflix, is unwatchable. After Will Smithfish said "dawg" for the 15th time, we turned it off.

Operation: E.M.M.Y.

Cartoon Network New Media has recieved its first-ever Emmy nomination, in the category of (ahem) Outstanding Achievement in Advanced Media Technology for the Non-Synchronous Enhancement of Original Television Content. That category is so cool, I'm going to put it on a T-Shirt!

The nominee was none other than Operation: B.E.S.T. -- a Kids Next Door promotion that took up way too much of my spare time for a good part of 2004. It was a very ambitious project and I'm glad it has received some recognition. Though I helped craft the game's story and wrote all the dialogue, none of it would have been possible without the support of Tom Warburton and the folks on the show. Not to mention the on-air elements, which were updated daily (DAILY) during the stunt itself with scores from the kids playing the game. An insane project!

You can try the game and create your own operative here.

Hooray for Non-Synchronous Enhancement!

Space Opera? Yes; Family Guy? No

Every once and a while, one comes across a funny Amazonian with quirky and entertaining opinions. Dig the reviews of Family Guy and of a sci-fi novel bought in a supermarket. Plus: a scathing appraisal of Jilly Boel!

Even more hilarious if you pretend that the author went to elementary school with Lyle Lovett, and Lyle Lovett beat him up every day. Or maybe the author is Julia Roberts...?

Robots of Color

This is a wicked cool animation called TRUE COLOR, created by a bunch of French art students.

High Hopes, Gamma Bomb Edition

The classic letdown of gaming is the licensed franchise title -- all too often, a game featuring your favorite movie/TV/comic book character is a crappy cash-in offering virtually nothing in the way of high-quality gameplay. Sure, there are the exceptions (Goldeneye, X-Men Legends), but most of the time this stuff is garbage. And the game publishers keep making 'em because people keep buying 'em.

That said, I can't help but get excited for a licensed game when it looks like this. Sure, us comic book nerds have been let down a million times before, but Hulk Ultimate Destruction looks like it's going to be a pretty fun explode-a-thon.

Best part is when Hulk tears a car in two and turns the pieces into a giant pair of "knuckle dusters" (a phrase learned from my colleague, Richard).

Adult Swim: Extreme Makeover Edition

Hey, nice! The official Adult Swim website just got a redesign. I don't care what anyone says, I'm still proud of this game, even though it would have been a whole lot funnier with sperm shooting lasers.

Hot Potato

Forget Bejeweled...this is the hottest Flash game on the web!

A Foo-Note

All copy protection aside, would just like to note that the big surprise of the new Foo Fighters album is the "acoustic" second disc, which I am enjoying much more than the "electric" first disc. I heard the single, "Best of You" (electric), on the radio last week and found it so-so at best. Upon buying the album, I was correct: the song is a 3-minute crescendo and quite annoying. Disappointment! Some of the other songs on the first disc are good, but I haven't really paid it much attention since the second disc is so much better.

If you want some REAL rock, do yourself a favor and pick up Rhino's reissue of Gang of Four's Entertainment! It's a rock critic's darling for a reason. Listen to it once and you'll find out why it's better than London Calling.

Fool Fighters

The stupidity of the music industry never ceases to amaze me...especially as it relates to digital rights management. Let me first explain that, as a content creator myself, I understand the need for people/artists/organizations (even mean ol' media titans) to protect their intellectual property. And, as a general rule, I don't download copyrighted material from the web illegally. That said, I totally understand the appeal, especially for the "poor college student" types. But I personally frown upon it and don't succumb to the temptation. (The arcade ROMs that I may or may not have obtained in my day being an obvious exception.)

So I got the new Foo Fighters double album, In Your Honor ($17.99 at Borders), and immediately tried to import it into my iTunes. The sound files were all corrupted and fucked up. I remembered this happening previously with the Velvet Revolver album and a Sahara Hotnights CD that I bought, two bands that I like, but not so much that I really care whether or not they are in my iPod. Foo Fighters, on the other hand, are a fan fave -- who wouldn't want their latest double CD in their iTunes? Apparently, the answer is the executives at RCA, because they made it unbelievably difficult for fans (who buy their music legally) to enjoy the Foo Fighters in whatever format they choose.

Next step was to go on the web to troll message boards for the answer. Because there's ALWAYS an answer, you stupid music companies. No matter how high you build that wall, or how complicated your encryption is, there's always going to be a way to get around it. For example: hold the SHIFT key when you insert the CD for the first time to override the media license. (Some dude on boards.musiccompaniesareidiots.com explains that if you try this trick AFTER you've already obtained the music license, it won't work.) You can also try ripping the files to your PC, burning a new copy, and importing that version into iTunes. Or, barring all else, you can simply go on to kazaa and download the shit for free. Gee, I wonder what most people will do?

Stupid music companies.

Without a clear solution at this point, I'm really starting to burn up. Here I've gone and spent about $20 on a new CD (most old DVD movies are cheaper) and now I'm being punished for being a good little copyright citizen because I want to take my music on the road. Long story short, I finally ripped the audio tracks but accidentally ripped the encrypted ones. So the CDs that I burned behaved the same way as the originals. However, by going into the root directory of the CD and ripping the .wma files I was able to burn unencrypted versions of both discs which were easily imported into iTunes. This process of trial and error took only about 1.5 hours.

Stupid music companies.

Wow, wouldn't it be great to offer a DRM solution that is compatible with iPods? I guess RCA doesn't give a damn. Hell, you can go buy the album from iTunes if you want a compatible version. Well, what if I want to play the CD in a CD player? Buy that shit, too! Double the money for RCA! Hmmm, maybe it's a sound business plan, after all. Nice job, RCA. You've managed to piss off just about everyone. Best part about it is, the kids on the message boards blame the Foo Fighters for this irritation, and the band probably had little or nothing to do with it. So the band is probably angry, too! Ack...I've wasted enough time with all this.

Stupid music companies.

A Few Quick Ones

War of the Worlds: great. Mario Golf Advance Tour: awesome. Bewitched: surprisingly funny. Rafting down the Ocoee River: recommended. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle: dude!