Tuesday, June 30, 2009

2012: A Crap Odyssey

Roland Emmerich: "Und zen ze aircraft carrier rolls right over ze White Haus!!" And the executives respond: "Oh, man, this is going to be the awesomest movie of all time ever!!" And everyone ejaculates in unison.

Meanwhile, the rest of us wonder when bigger became better and good storytelling got thrown out the window.

Look, I have no problem with big budget disaster movies. I love them. But there is no doubt in my mind that the movie 2012 is going to be terrible. Watch the trailer and see for yourself. How can those poor human actors compete with the bloated and hackneyed ideas on display? I have never seen a trailer try so goddamn hard in my entire life.

Pictured: "Look up, John Cusack! The tidal wave of crap is coming!"

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